We laugh secretly at your frustrated maneuverings…

Now, people can have children all they want. Go forth multiply, strain the world’s resources and so on. But leave your double-wide strollers at home. We all have to make concessions living in an urban area, and I’m pretty sure when the MBTA makes that announcement about passengers and strollers sharing space, they didn’t mean these giant monuments to yuppie pride. Even if you manage to have two babies at once, something I can only imagine to be extremely heinous, that is no excuse. What’s so wrong with those double-decker ones from way back when? These double-wides have invaded stores, where they block supermarket aisles and doorways while their owners debate the merits of various soy-free vegan delicacies. They make buses and subway cars completely impassable, causing old people to stumble and the rest of us to glare wrathfully.

Just the other day at Government Center, I saw two of those parents, one with bags akimbo on both shoulders, blithely bashing passersby, while the other pushed a stroller of mammoth proportions. And when they couldn’t get that beast on to the escalator, what did Mommy dearest do? Oh yeah she dropped the F-bomb. And right in front of her children, too. So, why, you ask, do we glare at you? Because it is not your child’s fault you have parked them in a double-wide and sealed them in like freshness in a Ziploc bag. It’s yours. You decided to bring screaming, sweaty babies into the city. So, all you hipster parents with bumper stickers about evil SUVs and limiting carbon footprints, think about your double-wides and make the connection.